Variable
by ItsLukasBondevik
Summary: Near knows how important names and faces are, but forgetting one of someone important is unforgivable. [MattxNear] [One Shot] [R&R Please]


**A/N**: Another MattxNear fiction, just because I had an urge to write one again. Near's kind of out of character, but I wasn't sure exactly how I could change it. If you have any suggestions, PM me.

Near sat at his structure, just watching the small electric Ferris wheel spinning slowly around on its axis, driving a toy train on the tracks around the tiny carnival he created within a few short hours. The Kira case was coming close to being solved, he could just tell. Yagami Light was going to be found out, whether by himself or Mello it didn't seem to rightly matter. Near was in this race to humor Mello, to take revenge for the death of a man they had all loved dearly. He quietly moved the track away from it's connecting piece and drove the train with the remote control again, sending it off the rails and into the wheel, breaking the electronic model down to its original pieces. Despite being unable to physically do anything, he seemed to have a liking for simulated violence, attacking with robots or destroying models. Perhaps he had some sort of violent tendencies.

Putting the train away, he stood up and picked up his favorite robot and began to twist its arms, absently watching out the storm filled window at the lightning forking across the sky in golden designs. It all seemed so familiar, though one particular factor seemed to be missing this time around. "_Hey, Near, to replace the one Mello broke._" He blinked slowly as he looked at a joint of the toy, one of the arms falling out of place, though he simply popped it back into place, where it belonged. He curled up on the windowsill, one leg to his chest as he held the plastic creation in loosely in his arms.

"_Thank you, — _" he had replied to the generous person, though the name and face of the person seemed to have faded from memory, only the toy and the dreary weather a vague reminder of events that were set in motion so long ago. Near was told once that you can't help whom you fall in love with. Now, more than ever, he believed those words. Well, love was too strong an adjective to describe it, for it was more like an intense infatuation with the person he couldn't seem to remember any longer. But like everything else with his emotions and anything that could get in his way, he pushed it all aside and left it there to disappear so he wouldn't have to deal with it any longer. However, despite a six year absence from his life, with his name and face completely gone from his vast memory, the feeling was still there, eating away at the back of his mind.

Near leaned his forehead against the chilly glass, watching the people so many stories below rushing by with their umbrellas and raincoats, trying to get out of the rain and most likely home to people they cared about and those who cared about them. "_—, you dropped your card._" He remembered the day the faceless boy made him a Christmas card, and had found it quite by accident after he had dropped it. The boy had run off in embarrassment, but Near had kept it for whatever reason, though now he didn't remember where he'd put it. Closing his eyes he realized that he couldn't remember anything about him, which was strange because his memory was photographic for everything else he's come across: how many LEGOs it took to build the fortress he played in, three-hundred and ninety-two thousand, six-hundred and forty-two; how many chocolate bars Mello usually ate in one day, fifty-nine; and how many times Roger told _— _to wake up before he'd pay any attention, twelve. Near blinked. He remembered something…

But that was a small piece of trivial information, why couldn't he remember something that was actually important? His face, his **name**, something… His grip on the toy tightened and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying… Striped shirt, red hair, baggy shorts, and sneakers; that's what he used to wear, constantly dressing like a raver born and bred in Hot Topic. Was that all? Nothing more? People were always telling him how much of a genius he was, but what was the point if he couldn't even remember one important thing? What was his name? It was first, second, third; Near, Mello, and then _—. _Who was it?

The door clicked open to his right as he buried his face in the voluminous folds of his shirtsleeves, the toy pressing into his chest painfully. He didn't care who was there, he was thinking and they'd leave him alone if they saw that. The person merely took a seat in the swivel chair and Near pulled his head slightly back, looking at the small robot in his lap. "What is it…?" he muttered, examining it for something, anything, not knowing what he was looking for and what he was hoping to find with such a material thing that he'd hung onto for so long. He gray eyes looked into every crevice and on every surface, not sure why he was… There! He stared at the bottom of its right foot, four symbols jumping out at him, written in silver Sharpie. "M-A-T-T… Matt?"

"Yeah?" It took all of Near's self-control to not flinch in surprise as he glanced up to the office chair slowly, a splash of red hair catching his eye first. But his gaze trailed slowly down, saving his face for last. Black and white striped shirt, baggy jeans and black boots, with leather gloves and a furry coat draped over the back of the chair. Orange goggles were there, but… there was his face. It was he, his chin resting in his palm as he waited for Near to say something to him. "You okay?"

"I'm quite fine, but I am curious as to why you are here." _How you found me, what you want, why you're just sitting there…_ Matt stood up and stretched him arms, his boots making thudding noises on the linoleum flooring of the headquarters as he walked over, taking a seat next to the white clad boy on the sill, looking out the window as he had previously. He placed the side of his head against the glass and sighed, his breath fogging the clear pane and his hair sticking slightly to the damp surface. Near waited and watched, keeping his eyes on the boy's face so he'd never forget it again. "Are you all right?"

He glanced over at Near as he replied, "Yeah." Near saw that Matt looked exhausted, his hair disheveled and dark bags under his eyes. "I've just gotta tell you something and get back to Mello." _Mello… _So that explained a few things, then, when Near pondered on it for a second. But it was obvious that Matt was here either against Mello's will or outside of his knowledge, but that didn't say much about what he wanted to tell him or why he wanted to see Near of all people. The boy glanced out of the window and saw no sign of the blond there or on any of the external camera monitors. Strange.

He asked quietly, beginning to mess with the toy, "What is it?" He heard a light rattle as the redhead put his goggles on the table behind him, glancing back to him with his dark brown eyes, bangs hanging into his face. Blinking, Near watched silently as Matt took his hands and pulled him into a warm embrace, holding him close to his chest with his arms tightly around his shoulders. The robot escaped his grasp and clattered to the ground, laying there untouched as Matt held him, his eyes wide in shock as he felt the older boy's heartbeat in his ear.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the sound of thunder rolling overhead and making his words almost inaudible. "I forgot… your name. It's Near, I remember now." As abruptly as it had started, the closeness was over and Matt was replacing his glasses and walking over to put on his coat, preparing for the long walk back to where Mello was staying for now, though a taxicab might be a good idea. Near barely breathed as he watched Matt head for the door, his face neutral and his eyes focused on his face, not risking the change of forgetting again. He reached the door and twisted the knob, wondering whether or not he should snag the blue umbrella from Lester's desk or not.

"…Matt." He turned back to Near and blinked, his hands shoved into his coat pockets. "Can you wait until morning? There are an abundance of rooms here, if you wish to stay. It is raining rather forcefully." He smiled and walked slowly back over to Near, the clunking of his boots becoming a very familiar sound to the white haired boy now, even if Matt had been there for a short amount of time. When he reached him, Matt took Near's chin in his hand and leaned in close to his face, a smirk on his soft lips as he watched him. He couldn't think of anything to say to that, so he waited for Matt, and he definitely wasn't one to disappoint.

He told him in a smooth, evocative voice, "I just need to know where your room is, babe." Matt laughed as Near turned rather pink in comparison to everything else on his person, and sat with him again, placing himself behind as he tugged on Near, making him rest back on his chest and stroking his soft, colorless hair with a gloved hand. Near didn't quite know what to think of the situation, so he didn't; just put them on hold as he fell asleep on Matt, the redhead watching the rain fall outside against the pane, wishing that maybe he could stay to help Near rather than going to help Mello. The blond was his best friend, sure, but Near… well, he wasn't exactly sure what was there. The small boy was so warm in his lap, his small hands resting in his arms and his head on his chest, looking comfortable and rather adorable with his cheeks still barely flushed. Matt smiled. At least he had this before he had to leave, to help Mello with his plan to kidnap that Takada woman.

Near awoke and glanced around, seeing that he was on the floor with Matt's fuzzy jacket over his body like a blanket and the man was no where to be seen. He held tight to the coat and sighed, getting up to prepare himself for Lester, Giovanni, and Halle. He would have wished Matt could be there too, but wishes were as illogical as they were impractical, so he merely wondered what road Mello would lead him down in their journey to catching Kira before he could himself.

However, as he was folding the jacket belonging to Matt and putting it away, a call from Halle came, telling him something he could not believe he was hearing. Takada had been kidnapped, and he knew what was going to happen. Mello had put himself and Matt in danger, and Near found himself slumping to the ground, the robot in his loose grip and the phone in his other hand, listening as the woman told him everything that was going on. Though he scolded himself mentally for thinking this afterwards, he found himself silently wishing him luck, hoping that he might come back alive.

But, he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he couldn't possibly make it through it. Yet, it was still good to dream, and besides, it was one more reason Kira needed to be stopped.


End file.
